I Can Read! I Can Read!

6 May

Well three days off turned into one, and that will probably turn into none by the end of the day.  I ain’t complaining though,  I need the loot.  After I found out I was working today I threw my crap in the truck and headed to the closest DH stream to molest some fresh stockers for an hour, and molest them I did.  That will probably be the last time I have a rod in my hand till Friday. (That’s what she said.)  With Ryan and Murphy dicking around in Florida I have decided to enlighten all of you savages with a literary review.

A couple of months ago, I entered Departure Publishing’s contest to win a copy of the new book, The Alaska Chronicles by Miles Nolte (a.k.a Gaper from Buster Wants to Fish).  Strangely enough I won and my autographed copy arrived in the mail a few weeks ago.

chronicles-coverThe book is based off of Gaper’s blog, on the Drake Forum in 2007, on the trials, tribulations, and just plain awesomeness that goes along with being a guide at a remote Alaska Lodge.  I am a guide as well, but rarely do I have to worry about clients being eaten by bears, jet motors breaking down, or dealing with camp feces.  Alaska guides are pretty hardcore compared to us fat lazy shop guides in the lower 48.  With my Bacchus-like appetite for booze, female companionship, and porcelain thrones, I am not sure how I would do up there.  Although, having shots at 30″ rainbows would definitely make me reconsider my attachment to indoor plumbing…maybe, I really LOVE the sound of toilets flushing my waste away.

The Chronicles does strike a common chord with me as far as the demands of guiding.  I know some of you out there are saying to yourselves, “What an asshole.  Demands of guiding? You get to be on a river all day and get paid for it.”  While there are a lot of upsides to guiding, there is also a big potential for burnout.  There are only so many days in a row you can smile and tell your clients that it is no big deal that they just yanked the fly out of a twenty incher’s mouth, or that you really don’t mind untangling the 50th bird’s nest they created because they will not listen to a word you say about the importance of the pause in the  back cast.  There are days that  all you want to do is go home and beat the shit out of the dog because you just got stiffed on a tip because the clients didn’t know they were supposed to tip.  I am now working myself into a frenzy and will require an IV of thorazine stat.

Back to the book, the chapters are pretty much organized as blog entries and cover all the highs and lows of Gaper’s season.  In all seriousness Gaper can turn a phrase with the best of them and I really appreciated his writing style.  This book will make some of you want to leave the wife and kids and head out for the wilds of Alaska.  While others will be inspired to do nothing more than read it while on the crapper and laugh.  Either way, the book  is worth a read, and a hearty round of Internet cat calls should go to Tosh Brown at Departure Publishing, and Miles Nolte (Gaper) for putting out a book that doesn’t suck.

Till next time,



One Response to “I Can Read! I Can Read!”

  1. Wookie May 7, 2009 at 5:27 AM #

    Great stuff DAVE!!! I bought the book today at a shop here in FL. I hope it has alot of pictures because me don’t weed berry well. My WV education was limited to sex, drugs, football, baseball, basketball, and beer. Although I do take care of sick people for a living so I must be pretty good and guessing.


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