Pray to the Fish God

3 Sep

On the day of our Lord, the fish god, September 30, 2009 Mitch and I (BayE) set out early mourning for that bitch of a stretch of water ultimately know as “The Lady.”  Personally I have a love/hate relationship with “The Lady.”  A relationship much the same as I do with my weed eater, that son of a bitch that does what it wants to do, when it wants to do it, despite what you do to make it do what you want.  That was a mind bottling (Blades of Glory) reference.  My love for “The Lady” is centered around the serene beauty that comes from her tall mountains and thick timber that make up the valleys to holds her crystal clear, perfectly balanced water.   With thick limestone river beds that support her, like a Victoria’s Secret bra holding a fine pair of D’s.   My hatred comes from those elusive, slimy little bastards that scurry about her waters.  Beautiful and wild these little beasts have had the privilege to see practically every fly know to man.  Presented to them in all possible manners.  This “privilege” has created fish nearly impossible to stock, present, and ultimately catch.  But, it has also created other so dumb that when seeing the human figure they literally follow you around the stream.  Kinda like the vultures were the day we found Dave somehow stranded in his boat on a dried up stream bed wearing nothing but a diaper.  Mumbling something about “those god dam canoes….NO…..please don’t make me go back in the canoe.”  Nothing beats an easy fish to catch, puts a smile on my face every time!!

 

 

We started off the day early, around 2’am early, for the stream.  Gas-check.  Cigarettes-check.  Snuff-check.  Gear-check.  New Creations from the fly tying bench-Check.  Cameras-check.  Water-check. Beer Cooler with Ice-Check.  Phone, wallet, iPod, Sunglasses, all things needed for a fine day on the stream-check.  Well about 45 minutes into the trip DISASTER STRUCK!!

 

 

No one brought beer.  Did I mention September 30th was a Sunday?  What does this mean?  Wikipedia says–

**The sale of liquor is prohibited statewide on Sundays. Beer and wine may be purchased after 1 pm.

**The sale of all alcohol is prohibited on election days.  WHICH MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE AT ALL!!!  NONE!!!

They can’t sell it but I can drink it?  Come on.  Really?  I had the no beer, before, during, and after fishing shakes.  Now I don’t require a constant, or therapeutic alcohol level.  I routinely live at a level of zero.  Only when going to, in the act of, and after fishing do I require a low, but sometimes high alcohol, and the occasional inebriating alchol level.  At times my body does not judge alcohol by age, taste, cost, or regurgitated color.

Another great day on the water, perfect weather, decent flows and quite a few bugs flying around.  Trout of all shapes and sizes, taking terrestrials of all shapes and colors.  Nothing beats a +20 inch fish gulping a juicy beetle off the surface, or a 16 inch brown coming from the bottom to destroy a hopper.  Flies chewed up so badly they had to be laid to rest.  Many trout were brought to hand in the 6 hours spent on the stream.  Still the majority of the elusive bastards eluded us once again, sitting on the bottom looking up making fun of the 2 retards waving sticks in the air.

 

 

If you want to experience this stream for yourself check out http://elkspringsflyshop.com/index.htm Good food and drink!!

**BayE**

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