Negative Nancy and Debbie Downer had a love child….And they called him Mitch…..

8 Sep

I’m sitting at work pouring through budget figures and formatting Excel spreadsheets. I’ll leave Microsoft Excel out of this, but I will state one thing about this devilish software: She is a soul-crushing whore….. Look over my shoulder out of my window to the world outside. It’s overcast, drizzling; temps are in the mid 60’s. It’s a perfect day to be on the stream. Then my thoughts turn to my no-good sons a bitchin’ friends. About now they are about 3 beers deep, nymphs about 3 feet deep, and all I can do is pout. Not your typical adult pouting, I’m full on 5 year old boy just got his ass spanked pouting. I can see them now. General D. is probably cracking a witty off the wall comment, Ryan is undoubtedly making fun of Murphy’s boy band beard, and Murphy is calling Ryan a Mexican and trying to steal Dave’s Jew Gold. The BentRodMedia boys are slangin’ flies, stickin’ trout, and are involved in some type of debauchery deep in the heart of Georgia.
It’s hard to describe what it’s like to know that your friends are fishing without you. I’ve never caught my wife in bed with another man, BUT I would imagine it’s probably in the ballpark. Fly-fishing is such a whore and is in bed with my friends. Once again I am Karma’s bitch. I am the love child of Debbie Downer and Negative Nancy, if they were lesbians and somehow could have a child together. So, I’ll whip out my IPOD and turn on some Old Crow, close my eyes and try to imagine Dave calling me a no good piece of shit….I’ll try to imagine Murphy telling me that I whine more than my Dad…..I’ll try to imagine Ryan’s short Mexican stature…..Maybe at lunch I’ll go grab a drink….Because all of my friends are fishing…..

MLB

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