11/13/09: Another Reason to Hate Canada
I know, we just returned from WNY and everyone expects some big time fishy porn. All that you savages are getting for now is a few pictures of Niagara Falls. The next presidential platform should be based on building a dam on the Niagara river to restrict flow over the Canadian side of the falls. Why? The Canadian side of the falls is much much much more scenic, but only because our water runs over it.
I hate not fishing. The only thing I hate more than not fishing is not fishing when I know my friends are fishing. Ryan, Murphy, and Mitch have descended upon New York and the Lake Run Brown carnage has commenced. Mitch sent me a very blurry picture of a monster brown that he claims was the smallest one caught yesterday. I hate him and hope he contracts an especially bad case of Gonorreah from either a Taiwanese lady of the night, or Murphy. Either way just as long as it is painful and doesn’t go away for at least a month. He could have at least sent a decent picture, as I am not Mr. Magoo nor do I wear a thick enough prescription lens to focus this nonsense clearly. Must be photoshopped as Mitch does not generally have enough skill to wrangle a specimen as fine as that one let alone the stockers he usually chases around the hills of West Virginia.
To make matters worse I am sitting on my couch instead of loading up the boat today. The good lord, Jah, Buddha, Rah, or any other deity you believe to pull the so-called ephemeral strings, has chosen to stick it to your friend Nymph-o by hurling 3″ of river ruining rain in the last 24 hours. The water gauges are off the chart and I am back on the couch tying flies that I am not sure I will ever have a chance to use. I am thinking about picking up golf (or maybe foosball) as being a non-fishing fly fisherman has just become too painful. Till next time.
Your friend,
Nymph-o (soon to be changed to Bagger Vance)
With no one to accompany me on a float trip I spent Friday night going through my fishing gear preparing for our New York trip. I’ll probably still forget something I’m sure. Saturday morning came despite trying to fight it off by staying up till 4am watching Eastbound and Down. Bored to death and debating wheather or not to go fishing or stay home and watch the Wv Mountaineers try to embarrass themselves. I’m glad I did not choose the latter. WVU 17 LOU 9….come on Stew. Should have been a tune up game for the rough road schedule ahead. At least we are bowl eligible.
Streamside by 11, I fought back the urge to tie on the White Ghost Woolybugger and rigged up the 4 weight for some double nymph high sticking action. I haven’t fished this spot for about a year or more. A small stream with tight banks filled with laurel. Decent flows with water temps in the low 50’s. A perfect day to be on the water. Very little wind, 70 degree temps and clear blue sky. The only problem was the GIN clear water and the sun at my back casting a huge shadow in front of me.
I set up my first cast about 15-20 yards from the head of a big plunge pool, best hole on the stream. I inspected my backcasting surroundings and picked spot to cast to. My caddis and copper john double nymph rig did the job on the 1st cast, picking off a 9-10 inch wild brown. My first brown trout from this stream. After about 3 dozen more casts I moved on to the head of the pool and into the woods to walk the banks and sight fish. Being that it’s the beginning of Salmon Trutta spawning season I tried my best to stick to the bank and watch for reds. Although I was disappointed not to see any REDS the technique paid off for me. I spotted a rainbow cruising the banks sipping midges from the surface. I watched him for a few minutes trying to figure out how the hell I was going to cast to him and where the best place would be to plop in my fly. I circled back around and dropped in behind to make the best cast possible. After some tree trimming my copper john came through….TWICE. One wild brown and one wild bow.
I spent the rest of the day walking the stream. Spotted a few fish, 2 of them 18-20 inch browns. The stream really surprised me and I’ll be back to do some more scouting.
**BayE**
11/06/09: Florida on My Mind (Salt Water Fishing Just Ain’t Safe for a little cow).
Free Range Longhorn cattle and alligators living together in harmony.
10/30/09: Another Friday Lost to Time.
“If you crossed Pookie (crackhead from the film New Jack City) with Lefty Kreh you would only begin to understand the trout withdrawals I am currently coping with. I spend most nights in the fetal position, sweating, crying, and clutching a copy of Modern Streamer Tactics for Trophy Trout.”
-Recounting my current fishless days and nights to a fellow guide a couple of days ago.
Nymph-o
So to sum up the fishing, well lets let the pictures do the talking. Oh and just like Sanford and Son, I have welcomed a new boat to my collection. I needed another raft for smallies, and those rivers that eat hard bottom boats for breakfast. So I had to break her in this past Sunday on the Watauga. Since the TVA has decided to spill the dam, we decided to do a upper river float to search for some hungry browns. The fishing was slow, but steady, and like usual we came through with one respectable fish. My amigo Frodo sealed the deal on a fine colored up female brown. Ok enough rambling, heres the porn!
My new ride! like I needed another!
Frodo with Mrs. Leroy. She is all colored up ready to tango!
Frodo saying his goodbye's with a tear in his eye!
Here is a nice wild brown that I picked up chunking streamers at dusk.
Murphy and Mr. Leroy ! Nothing like pre-spawn browns on your favorite wild stream!
Murph using an old trestle as a spotting platform.
Yet another victim of our exploits!
This guy looks like he could eat a small child! Small creek'n rocks!
Ahhhhh!
We rescued this dog during a recent float, she was trying to swim to my boat for some reason, but almost drowned in the swift current. She has done the boat thing before, she knew right where to sit.
Can you say BUTTER!
Well thats all for now. Heading to NY next week, so hopefully we will have a wild tale to share with you.
Ryan
Another trip planned, this time Western New York for those massive Salmon Trutta, Oncorhynchus Tashawytscha, and Oncorhynchus Mykiss. Making their annual migration out of the Lakes and into the tributaries, some to get laid and some to gourge themselves on caviar. This trip has been in the making since returning home from our trip last year. Last years trip still brings a southern WV stream like taste to my mouth. A dysentery feeling still comes over me when thinking about dealing with delayed/cancelled flights back home. A fucking shame what our airlines have become. It’s like everyone that works for the airlines is from Ashville N.C. All they were missing was a 50 year old woman, with a cat on a leash playing a banjo at the check in counter…..poor cat.
Mitch again started planning the trip around his tough banker like schedule. He either found a holiday, Veterans Day, or since mitch looks like a terrorist after a few days of dischevelment took the day off to remember Yasser Arafat (Died 11/11/04). 4 days penciled in and I tagged in myself to work on my schedule to make it happen (Done). Ryan followed up with confirmation that he will be there like a mexican at home depot. Dave “Nymph-O” has another appointment with his doctor to deal with his never ending E.D. that he can’t miss.
With the dates set and cabin rented for a few days of our usual debotchery Ryan sends Mitch and I an email throwing a wrench into everything because he is still a little kid at heart and wants to still be a policeman. Which he had to let that dream go when they raised the height requirements for the job. But he’s better off, more time to fish now. He tell’s us that he has some type of recertification requirement he has to attend and we have to move the trip back 1 day. Of course after we made schedule changes and reservations. Thankfully it wasn’t that big a change and we all made it work.
Ryan will once again try and find his way to our destination and back relying solely on our airline system. God speed my friend. God Speed.
**BayE**
Every family has them and here at Bent Rod Media we are no different. Our Black Sheep go by the names of Murphy and Mitch. 
I have heard of of family fueds before, but these two brother in laws take it to a very dark and ugly place. Ryan and I usually sit on the sidelines and watch the hilarity ensue but the tone of discourse has hit an especially unhealthy place so I figured would share it with all of you. Enjoy our West Virginian misery with us won’t you. (All of this nonsense is quoted from various emails this week…I swear)
Mitch: Almighty BRM king Murphy has decided that the rod given to all of us by hook is now his…..everyone obey and succomb to his glory….all hail!!!!!!!
Murphy: ryan help me out on this one
Me: I thought I was supposed to get that rod.
Mitch: I vote Dave gets the rod! Murphy broke it though Dave….
Murphy: rod is stuck together…not broke…but mitch wouldn’t know the difference because all his rods are broke…..he would have seen the immaculate reception by ryan after we tossed rods, but he was to busy getting the sand out of his vagina like usual back sulking in the truck while ryan and i were fishing…..BIG SURPRISE….but mitch is king and is always rite…so lets let him win this one.
Mitch: Oh did i hit nerve cartman????? Almighty BRM king…..you never cease to amaze me with your selfishness and childish behavior……
Murphy: I’m not sending the rod back unless it breaks…which it might if forced apart. Mitch sends me an email about how he needs the rod tomorrow because he has lots of trips planned. Strange I know…all this time to fish and no intention on fishing with any of us especially me because i get on his nerves….i’ll remember that the next time i have to drive and pay for gas on a trip, what is that like 20 trips now? The rod was given to us by Hook for participation on Hook.Tv……which i know i constantly pick on the Participation fact, but when you go demanding shit and name bashing I’m gonna pull the participation card. Mitch then proceeds to tell me that i have no idea how to take care of a rod, which the rod does a have few scratches on it from where i fell. it’s an outdoor activity go figure. How many rods has mitch broke? None of his reels work because of poor maintenance. Why waste money on sending it back when it is structurally intact….works fine. I’ll break it and send it back when it’s needs to be broken down to take on a trip or if the performance is impaired.
TELL MITCH TO BE NICE AND QUIT BITCHING…TO ASK NICELY NEXT TIME YOU CAN HAVE THE ROD ANYTIME.
Me: I say we break the rod in two and you
each get a piece. You can just start calling me Solomon.
Mitch: Just to let you guys know that Murphy is seriously going to get his ass beat by me to take him down a few notches….Next time I see him I will black both of his fucking eyes…
Mitch: These are the emails that Murphy doesnt forward to anyone….Because he seriously has a problem…Murphy is just like Cartman…looks like him, kindve talks like him, and is a complete dick like him…..
“fuck you….i hope you wreck your car on the way to work…wait you don’t have a car”
Murphy: i hope you get ass cancer
So fellas I wanted to publish this to prove a point. Wouldn’t the world be a little better if we conducted ourselves a little more like Lenny and Squiggy and a little less like the Hatfields and McCoys. Think about it.
- Nymph-o
If I start the boy on steroids and a comprehensive weight training program early enough he should be able to row the drift boat by the time he is nine…no problem.
The rationalizing is non-stop in the Nymph-o household these days.
10/23/09: WTF? Where are we? This place is a freak show. Did we make a Wrong Turn?
Maybe after a few of these this sign will make more sense.?.?
Keep Livin the High Life.
**BayE**
